An open letter to the US government concerning Green Cards

Published on March 8, 2005 By cactoblasta In Misc

To whom it may concern

I have no interest in your green cards. You spam me mercilessly with advertisements and emails declaring that I fulfil the requirements for your godforsaken treats, but I have no interest. Firstly, I am not in any way interested in moving to the US. I can't imagine how it could be any better than my homeland, and struggle to imagine how working there could be any more relaxed or satisfying than what I do at the moment.

And yet still you write to me, pleading. Whilst I am aware that the requirements are apparently simple (You live in Australia - you qualify! Click here to accept your green card!) I feel sure that your constant blandishments must surely come close to contravening Australian truth-in-advertising laws. For a country apparently concerned with the problems of spam, the constant evidence in my inbox bears brightly coloured testimony to your hypocrisy.

As you are a global superpower and I am just a humble Australian peasant I imagine there's not much I can do about it. But I'd appreciate it if you'd just shut the fuck up.

Thank you,

Cacto.

Comments

greywar

on Mar 09, 2005

*chuckle* pretty sure whoever is sending these emails out has no connection to the US. Govt though...

greywar

on Mar 09, 2005

damn double posts...

Moderateman

on Mar 09, 2005

being proud of your homeland makes me smile.. good on you mate!!

cactoblasta

on Mar 09, 2005

Yeah, it's probably just your average everyday 'connection' agencies. But this morning I had 50 fricken emails from various addresses offering green cards. I get less holiday/free degree spam!

NJforever

on Mar 09, 2005

Those connection agencies. Soon they'll get so desperate they'll send green cards for Australia to Americans!

Dr Guy

on Mar 09, 2005

I have to agree with Greywar. I dont think the US government is spamming you.

If you like, I can send you about 50 messages to refi your home, or perhaps you would like some internet Meds? (about 25). Porn is always a winner (about 50), and the get out of debt free cards (75). Those are daily totals BTW.

Spam is so wonderful, aint it?

TheFazz

on Mar 09, 2005

I love Verizon. I haven't had spam for years.

But on-topic, I doubt the US Government would really waste it's time sending spam to people overseas in an effort to bring them over here.

dynamaso

on Mar 09, 2005

I too get these emails, both at work and at home. Out of curiousity in the past, I've clicked the link and have been taken to a very official looking site (for the life of me, I can't remember the department name). To me, it certainly looked like a government site, but I didn't explore it any further.

Like you say, Cacto, why would we want to live anywhere else?

cactoblasta

on Mar 11, 2005

Like you say, Cacto, why would we want to live anywhere else?

You got that right mate - although right now I'm living in Indonesia.

I'm a bit wary of clicking through (cos it'll probably only increase the spam) but I guess I'll take one for the team and check it out next time I see it. I have to admit I'm a little curious now...

Never fear - if it turns out to be vaguely interesting or humourous I'll keep you posted.

And for the record I don't think it is the US government, because surely they've got better ways of recruiting citizens than sending spam emails. The Australian government for example raids hospitals and universities off-shore looking for talent. I imagine the US has better ways as well.

Those connection agencies. Soon they'll get so desperate they'll send green cards for Australia to Americans!

I don't think Americans need a 'green card' to work here. I think you just need a work permit, which is just an extra stamp in your passport. It's handed out like candy really - all the tourists don't seem to have much trouble getting them. But it would be funny if you guys got Australian government spam as well.

Dr Guy

on Mar 11, 2005

Actually, I remember in the early 70s when the US had an overabundance of Teachers (due to people trying to avoid the draft and an ED was the easiest degree to get at the time). You Aussies were a might short in that category and there was active recruitment of American Teachers for the land of Summer Christmases. That was before Spam tho. But you never know......stranger things have happened!

Dr Guy

on Mar 17, 2005

Cacto,

Just an update. I just got one of those 'Get a Green Card' spam mails. The URL took me to a .info.

The Problem is - I am an American already!

Now what the hell would I do with a Green card?

dynamaso

on Mar 22, 2005

Now what the hell would I do with a Green card?

Dr. Guy - you could sell it on Ebay. You'd probably make some big bucks...

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