I've got a bit of a question for those few who read what I occasionally write, somewhat in the vein of Mig's Friday Five, but not really (seeing as how there's only one question after all). And it's Tuesday. So really it's nothing at all like Mig's Friday Five, but I'm sure you'll get over it.
1. But anyway, when you die and are mystically (or divinely or whatever adjective you prefer) transferred to the Pearly Gates/giant scales/dismemberment room/whatever to be judged by your deity of choice, what's your excuse going to be?
Personally I don't think I could get away with that hoary old chestnut, "I did what I could until I could not", because I'm hardly a saintly person and any dumbass could tell that I was lying. Blatantly lying. And "Fuck you, you sanctimonious winged lovechild of a dirty old man and a budgie" sort of lacks that 'repentent' edge. Frankly I'll probably have to rely on a boyish grin and my natural good looks; in other words, harps are almost certainly out of the question (although that's no big loss of itself).
But what are you going to say in the ultimate gamble? Will you beg? Will you be defiant? Will you refuse to believe it's happening because you never believed in the afterlife beforehand and you're certainly not going to believe in it just because it's real?
*If you think this is blasphemous, ask yourself why; surely when weighed in the balance a just god would allow you to say a few words in your defence. Getting the script-writing done early is good planning. And as the prophets say, "God helps those who help themselves".