Dull thoughts on a shiny, shiny world.

Cactoblasta would make the best president for three reasons. He will get respect from foreign nations, he has all the necessary experience, and he will lead the nation through the turbulent times we face.

First, Cacto would make the best president because he will get respect from foreign nations.  As an experienced and well-known resident of Not-America he has the connections and the charm to sway other Non-Americans to his will. This will dramatically reduce the political fallout of the US international agenda.

 

Second, Cacto would make the best choices for America because he has the necessary experience. As a charming young man in his 20s, he knows all. Compared to geriatrics mired in their doubt and insecurity, his certainty and positive thinking will give the US a fighting chance in the global economy. His considerable experience in deceit, half-truth and reinterpretation will also provide a political climate favourable for correct decision-making, if only through the exclusion of alternative thought.

 

Third, Cactoblasta is the best presidential candidate because he will lead the nation through the dangerous times ahead safely. Cacto looks both ways before crossing the street and always throws salt over his shoulder when threatened by werewolves. This is proven by his previous two points.


   Cactoblasta is America's best Presidential Candidate because he can lead the nation through the dangers ahead, he is experienced, and will recieve respect from our opponents and allies alike.

 

NB: This article is in absolutely no way inspired by Erathoniel's or San Chonino's vastly inferior arguments, and is not a result of a desire to get in on a new meme before it crushes the world in its path.


Comments (Page 1)
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on Apr 22, 2008
Vote for me! I'm better looking! And American!

(So what if I'm an ex-pat living in Spain? Petty issues!)
on Apr 22, 2008
20s? You fail on age alone!

Seriously, you would hate the job. No more trivializing.
on Apr 22, 2008

Fail.

I should run for president.

on Apr 22, 2008
Hmm...nah. Obviously I'm the best suited for president. I may be only on the cusp of 20, but I reckon I can turn the nation around...at any rate, a retarded monkey could do a better job than this last president.

~Zoo
on Apr 22, 2008
Hmm, I like that he's from Not-America, but I'm concerned about his werewolf management ideas. A potential Presidential candidate should know that a silver bullet is the most effective remedy.

Cactoblasta - Weak on werewolves!
on Apr 22, 2008
retarded monkey could do a better job than this last president.


You are about to find out if this is true in about 7 months.
on Apr 22, 2008
retarded monkey could do a better job than this last president.


You are about to find out if this is true in about 7 months


If you mean Obama, you're a racist!
on Apr 22, 2008

Haha...you used the word 'meme.'  I love it.  I'm going to go look at the other posts this references, and if none of them used "meme," you have my vote.

on Apr 22, 2008
If you mean Obama, you're a racist!


I had not thought of that, but yea, I guess I have to be labelled one!

(IN my best child's voice) But Zoo said it first!
on Apr 22, 2008
Damn 'meme'. Wins the votes every time.
on Apr 22, 2008
(IN my best child's voice) But Zoo said it first!


But I want Obama to win. Well, if I don't get the nomination, that is.

~Zoo
on Apr 22, 2008
Vote for me. I know everything. Always.

Stupid 'meme.'
on Apr 22, 2008
Hmm, I like that he's from Not-America, but I'm concerned about his werewolf management ideas. A potential Presidential candidate should know that a silver bullet is the most effective remedy.

Cactoblasta - Weak on werewolves!


Werewolves are people too - I see no reason to kill them when polling reveals 10% of likely voters carry the curse.

The real slogan is Cactoblasta - friend of the werewolf!

Haha...you used the word 'meme.' I love it. I'm going to go look at the other posts this references, and if none of them used "meme," you have my vote.


Hurrah! I've always known it was better to sound clever than to be clever.
on Apr 22, 2008
Lynch him!
on Apr 23, 2008


I should win! I have bumper stickers!



PS Thanks, Ted.
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