And other things that irk me
There are many things that irk me about some greenies. Their rank personal hygiene, the tendency towards irrational and blind obedience to their ideology, their near-fatal lack of a sense of humour, their limited vision for the future.
But perhaps the most vexing from my point of view is their near-unshakable belief that we should all 'get back to nature'.
I understand of course that they wish to contribute in some way to this process - I feel there can be no other explanation for cultivating hairstyles and clothing that moves even without a breeze. But frankly I agree with those elements of human society that I think could be called the civilisationists.
According to this camp the last 10,000 years of human evolution and development has been a desperate attempt to escape nature. Why else, they argue, do humans group together in cities? Why else does nearly every examined human society reject the tenets of Darwinism? Why, the popularised version asks, don't rabid environmentalists get back in their trees and fling poo at each other if they wish so greatly to 'get back to nature'?
For that is what 'getting back to nature' must mean. Humanity has, through the millenia, discovered methods of controlling and shaping the environment around it. There is no greater irony than the hunter who drives her humvee to 'get back to nature'. What is natural about driving a car, wearing mechanically constructed or even hand-woven clothing, walking upright or wielding weaponry? Certainly there are animal species that wield tools and possess culture of a sorts - chimps are one example - but realistically speaking they are the exception, not the norm, and nothing exceptional could be considered truly natural by an organised human mind.
I doubt it's even remotely possible for any western person to 'get back to nature'. Our very mindsets subsume the natural order of existence - we are trained from birth to protect the weaker members of our species, to build, to acquire, to think.
Throw a westerner into the jungle and they instinctively do the unnatural. They build shelter, construct weapons, maintain certain rituals - often including the wearing of clothing.
Humanity is naturally accustomed to performing unnatural acts. There is little more tiresome than some hobo with a social conscience telling me that I should abandon my ipod, my studies and my city to live at one with the very thing my ancestors fought so hard to avoid.
It may be unnatural to be civilised, but I wouldn't give it up for all the fungal infections in the world. I wish those rabid greenies would go off somewhere and fester in peace.