I hate poetry.  I always have.

It is uniformly horrible, like a song without a tune, just words without meaning and emotional fervour without a story to give it purpose.

Poetry is the lowest form of prose. With it, any moron thinks they can pen something truly remarkable. They think that it makes them clever, or witty, or a tragic and sensitive soul who needs a hug, a punch or a lover - all three if you're paying.

They're wrong. While I admit some poetry is less awful than others, there are few things worse than when an ordinarily sane human being abandons perfectly good prose for rhyming or (worse) obscure punctuation.

It's AS iF

They think

it's cool

TO THROW  their sentences

all over

the place,

and insert random 'power words' (mother),

and that that (death in an armchair) somehow

makes them profound and (hanging by his left knee) wise.

They're (she watched, a tear fell) wrong.

They're horrible (jesus smiles) people and they're full of hate.

But enough about pretentious poets. Let's turn to the garden variety rhymer.

We all know one - an individual who, due to lack of any redeeming qualities, decides to be perverse and start speaking in rhyming couplets. Simple, ordinary words, that were they used in a sentence would be perfectly serviceable and not at all objectionable. But words, when mutilated by the laws of rhyme and violated by the foul desires of their profane host, that turn into something so horrible it hurts deep inside, a black and midnight horror twisted by loathsome means into an assault on the very humanity of the reader.

Such poetry is a crime against the soul and objectionable in every way imaginable.

I urge all of my loyal readers and writers to speak out against the injustice of poetry. Take a stand for the English language against the dark forces of the grammatically insane and the bore. Show those filthy, plague-ridden bad poets what it means to really have something to iambic pentameter about.