I hate poetry.  I always have.

It is uniformly horrible, like a song without a tune, just words without meaning and emotional fervour without a story to give it purpose.

Poetry is the lowest form of prose. With it, any moron thinks they can pen something truly remarkable. They think that it makes them clever, or witty, or a tragic and sensitive soul who needs a hug, a punch or a lover - all three if you're paying.

So tonight I went and saw Lars and the Real Girl, a twee American film set in some desolate snow-covered wasteland.

It's all about this guy Lars who, in response to something, buys an anatomically correct girl doll and treats it like a girlfriend.

Sure, it all sounds a little independent film-angsty, but in actual fact it's a really good movie.